So I quit my job a couple of weeks ago.
Leaving a career that I have crafted over many years was not something I ever thought I would do or could do. But deciding to walk away is one of the bravest things I have ever done. Don’t get me wrong it’s also quite terrifying! Thinking about not having a daily schedule, no alarm clocks or carefully orchestrated morning routine executed down to the minute to get me out the door and into the office is at times a little overwhelming. And let’s not mention the lucrative six figure salary!
My inner voice fluctuates between “hoorah…….this is the most exhilarating moment of my life” and “Oh good grief…. what have I done”. But in the end, the voice that was the loudest couldn’t be ignored anymore. An uneasiness had been brewing in me for a considerable time, and I had been questioning my purpose and the value my work was adding to my life as well as to the organisation I was working for. About a month before I made the decision to leave, I sat paralysed at my desk. I had the usual banal tasks in my in-box, all having equal importance to someone else and timelines associated with their importance, I think the timelines were mostly associated with the importance of the people requesting them rather than the actual tasks! I mustered the gumption to get started but instead sat staring at a picture on my office wall. The picture is of an incredible leader called Sister Catherine McAuley, foundress of the order of the Sisters of Mercy. This woman balked against convention and believed there was always a solution to every problem. In that moment I found my solution……..I would not do this anymore, I was done, I had nothing left to give to this job.
Over the next few weeks this thought consumed me, and eventually after one more “issue” made its way to my office the proverbial last straw was placed on this camels back. I spoke with my boss and the deed was done, no going back.
Is there a fine line between genius and madness? I’ve still to work out which side of the line I have landed on but until I do I am holding firm that my ‘gut feeling’ gave me the answer that I needed. Believing in your own intuition is a powerful tool to have in your toolbox of life. The trappings of position, title, income and social status can be intoxicating but they can also be toxic. I’m not suggesting quitting your job is the right path for anyone else, but for me it’s the start of my next chapter in life….and I’m excited!